HomeSatireSUNLIGHT BAD FOR THE PLANET

SUNLIGHT BAD FOR THE PLANET [Repost with new audio track]

 

According to the UN World Consortium Of Qualified Experts (UNWCOQEMT) sunlight is a “major threat to the planet and needs to be dramatically reduced as soon as possible.” That’s according to Disaster Prediction Consultant Klaus von GefroreneBälle “The Earth is heading towards a cataclysm unless that ball of flame in the sky is as good as shut down.” he says. “The Earth and Sun may have coexisted without a problem this past 6.5 billion years, but if we are wise enough to listen to schoolchildren who know more than the majority of climate scientists do, then we will understand that we are all in grave danger from planetary meltdown due to man-made climate change. That’s why we need to change the climate.”

“To deal with this emergency we’re deploying Stratospheric Aerosol Injection [(SAI)- a way to block out the sun.] People are naturally apprehensive about such new ideas, but they have absolutely nothing to worry about- We modelled everything using a computer and It’ll be fine.” Says a smiling GefroreneBälle. “51 countries signed the Convention on Long-Range Transboundary Air Pollution (CLRTAP) in 1979. This is obviously designed to reduce air pollution. Just before you ask- It’s totally OK for us to introduce chemicals because we’re Experts.

Carbon Dioxide isn’t currently listed as a dangerous pollutant in CLRTAP but that will soon change. “This Convention is marvellous because it gives us the freedom to introduce measures that would otherwise be very difficult to implement.” laughs GefroreneBälle.

GefroreneBälle: Keeping the planet safe from humanity.

“It’s impossible to get people to comply with anything voluntarily; If they could just simply Trust The Science (TM) everything would work perfectly, but they are convinced that a person’s own direct experience has objective validity- However, if The Science dictates that something is true then it’s true- End of story.

Some people tend to get upset with us because we’re tinkering with an extremely delicate and sophisticated ecosystem that controls the lives of every living being on the planet. But they miss the bigger picture- Our picture- One where the smart people get to decide everything; By “smart” I obviously mean us.”

GefroreneBälle is driven by a vision of the future that was formulated by Howard Scott (below); An engineer/ industrialist who championed the technocracy movement in the US during the 1930s.

Howard Scott: Champion of Technocracy. Photo credit: CC BY 2.5, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=10018212
 
 
 
 

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Popular Articles